He is the author of I’M A KEEPER, a book that is being used in seven countries and is receiving rave reviews from parents, teachers and psychologists. It teaches parents the most important skill they must have for successful parenting: how to understand your child.
Ray will be launching his newest book, I’M A KEEPER, on October 5. He is one of the authors in the John 3:16 Marketing Network. I hope you enjoy his interview,
What motivated you, Mr Lincoln, to write I’M A KEEPER?
First, thank you for your invitation. The motivation to understand how we are made first came from an intense desire to understand myself. Then one day a client who was a parent asked, “Would this be of benefit to me in understanding my child?” Her relationship with her child had developed into a losing battle of wills for both. A flashback of my own childhood feelings created an instant empathy in me, and before I knew it I said, “Yes. I’ll be holding a workshop on that soon, and I’ll let you know.” It was the first time I’d thought of a seminar/workshop for parents in understanding their children! So that’s how I got motivated to apply how we are made on the inside to parent-child relationships. From there the overwhelming interest of parents led to the book becoming a necessity.
They can reduce the tension and stress of their parenting by understanding what urges and strengths drive the preferences and passions of their child. Knowledge of why their child behaves the way they do gives the parent a comfortable feeling and confidence that they will be successful in guiding their child, even in moments of heated meltdowns.
A child is in the process of learning about their world and themselves. They need and usually accept all the help they can get. A parent who can help their child develop the strengths and drives that make them who they are will be, in the eyes of the child and in their own sense of satisfaction, a much better parent.
Can I’M A KEEPER, help all parents regardless of their child’s age?
Amazingly, yes! An infant is often seen by nurses in a maternity ward as being an either very active child, a fretful child, a calm child or an alert child, each corresponding to an early glimpse of one of the four temperaments. Around age two most of the temperament’s characteristics can easily be observed. So from the earliest years parenting the child with an understanding of what the unseen urges of temperament are benefits both child and parent greatly. In teenagers it is a must, or the child will drift to those who do understand them and to where they do feel comfortable. Bonding is essential for effective guidance in the teenage years.
Let me make it clear that I’M A KEEPER is not a medical or specialist book on issues like autism. We need the specialized knowledge of these fields for sure. But that does not discount its applicability, since all children in all of these conditions have temperaments and need to be understood. Handling a child according to their temperament can provide some unexpected solutions and help for these conditions. It can ease much distress and pain for both child and parent.
Single parents tell me it’s a God-send. Anything that reduces stress and creates a meaningful bond between parent and child is helpful at the foundational level, especially where the child is different from the parent.